The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to our research, can predict the end of a relationship. Criticism The first horseman is criticism. Criticizing your partner is…
Feeling like you aren’t getting what you want in bed and being unable to ask for it can be frustrating and upsetting. Sex can be a really a tricky topic. We may feel we don’t know how to express ourselves to our partner. Or we may feel confused or embarrassed about why things aren’t ‘working’.…
Second marriages It can be easy to assume that the second marriage will be easier than the first. After all, practice makes perfect, right? And while this can be true in lots of ways, remarrying can come with its own range of complications and concerns. Problems in second marriages – reliving the past One of…
Moaning can sound like a lighthearted problem, or something that’s not that serious. And while there’s nothing wrong with the occasional moan — in fact, it’s usually positive and healthy to express negative feelings, if it’s constantly happening in your relationship, it can begin to have an effect. On one level, constant moaning can create…
Making the change from being a couple to being parents isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to find time for yourselves, your sex life can change, you have to juggle the commitments of work and family and find a way of agreeing on how to bring up the children. When the baby comes home…
Being ‘good enough in bed’ is a preoccupation of many people, yet few have a definite idea of what ‘good enough’ means. Performance is rarely what is most important about the sexual experience, and worrying about performance can spoil it. Being in the moment allows you to appreciate the closeness you feel during sex with…
Most people know what physical abuse is, but when it comes to emotional abuse, people tend to think there’s much more of a ‘grey area’. They might know it has something to do with treating your partner badly – name calling or making them feel small – but not be clear on what’s actually classed…
“They fuck you up, your mum and dad / They may not mean to, but they do / They fill you with the faults they had / And add some extra, just for you.” So begins Philip Larkin’s famous poem, This be the Verse. Larkin’s representation of familial inheritance here is clearly overly pessimistic and…
Stuck in a rut Changes People don’t stay the same and neither do relationships. One of the things that couples cite over and over again is how their sex life changes. In the early years sex is often urgent and exciting. Many couples will grab every opportunity they can to make love and sex…
One of the most common objectives couples share when they come to me for counseling is to improve their communication. When communication breaks down it can feel frustrating and painful. I have noticed at these times it’s mostly the ‘feeling heard’ part of communication that is going wrong. Over time this can become really destructive to your relationship, so…
Couple Counseling is open to everyone aged over 16. Whether you are married, living together, in a same-sex relationship, separated, divorced or single, my confidential service can help you to deal with your relationship difficulties. Google+
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