The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger, and death respectively. We use this metaphor to describe communication styles that, according to our research, can predict the end of a relationship. Criticism The first horseman is criticism. Criticizing your partner is…
Well, the first thing to say is that there are no guarantees. No matter what you do, there will always be an element of luck in finding someone who is right for you. But there are a few things you can do to make the process of searching for that certain someone go a little…
5 communication tips to try with your partner It’s no great secret that communication is an important part of any relationship. What’s less understood is how to be a good communicator and just how beneficial building good communication habits into your relationship can be. And while there’s no single, simple solution for making this happen,…
There’s no formula for knowing when you should leave a relationship – it can be really stressful and confusing trying to make a decision. You may think things haven’t been right for a while but still feel undecided about whether you could work through your issues. While you might clearly remember how good things used…
Relationship Difficulties Here is some general advice about what to do if there is conflict in your relationship. These are the sort of steps a relationship therapist might take you through. Take Time Out When a conflict flares up it can be incredibly hard to stop talking and separate off. The temptation is…
One of the most common objectives couples share when they come to me for counseling is to improve their communication. When communication breaks down it can feel frustrating and painful. I have noticed at these times it’s mostly the ‘feeling heard’ part of communication that is going wrong. Over time this can become really destructive to your relationship, so…
Magic five Award winning marital therapist, researcher and author Dr John Gottman made a key observation of couples who stayed together – that they have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions in their relationships. A positive interaction might be a thoughtful action, asking questions, showing empathy, a kind word, a hug, a gift, a shared…
There are things people believe about relationships that are simply not true and don’t help us to have healthy happy relationships. I call these relationship myths. In this post, I’m going to be ‘busting’ the top 5 relationship myths that I regularly hear couples bring into the counseling room. 1. ‘Relationships should be easy’ or…
One of the most common objectives couples share when they come to me for counseling is to improve their communication. When communication breaks down it can feel frustrating and painful. I have noticed at these times it’s mostly the ‘feeling heard’ part of communication that is going wrong. Over time this can become really destructive to your relationship, so…
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