Why communication isn’t always the most important thing in a relationship There is a popular belief that ‘communication’ is the most important thing in a relationship. When couples come to counseling they often say their problem is with ‘communication’. And the thing they want to fix about their relationship is their ‘communication’. And if only…
Being ‘good enough in bed’ is a preoccupation of many people, yet few have a definite idea of what ‘good enough’ means. Performance is rarely what is most important about the sexual experience, and worrying about performance can spoil it. Being in the moment allows you to appreciate the closeness you feel during sex with…
Most people know what physical abuse is, but when it comes to emotional abuse, people tend to think there’s much more of a ‘grey area’. They might know it has something to do with treating your partner badly – name calling or making them feel small – but not be clear on what’s actually classed…
Relationship challenges can come from all kinds of places. You may have to deal with the challenge of feeling your partner has let you down in some way. Or the challenge of resolving a big difference of opinion. Or more practical challenges – like making sure you spend enough time together or learning to budget…
Valentine’s Day and all the expectations that come with it can make you feel like you should be having all kinds of passionate and adventurous sex with your partner. But the reality is it can be pretty difficult to keep things fizzing, especially if you both have busy lives. Instead of worrying about reaching some…
Many relationships go through phases where one or both partners goes off sex. Sometimes this is a gradual process that almost goes unnoticed for a long time or it may arise from specific issues, perhaps an affair, which makes being sexual feel impossible. Sometimes worries about the pressure to be sexual can lead partners to…
Talking about money with your partner can be really tricky. People often have very different attitudes when it comes to finances. You might be very careful with your cash while your partner may be a bit of a spendthrift. And then there are all the decisions to be made about setting up joint accounts. It’s…
Moving in with your partner can be a great way of expressing your commitment to one another, but it comes with its own set of challenges too. Some people suddenly find themselves feeling a little suffocated by all the time they’re spending with their other half. Some get frustrated about things like finances or…
‘Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.’ When you’re feeling disappointed, angry or betrayed, the idea of forgiving someone can feel a little bit like giving in – as if, by letting go of your resentment, you’re allowing them to ‘get away with it’. It can be…
Relationship Difficulties Here is some general advice about what to do if there is conflict in your relationship. These are the sort of steps a relationship therapist might take you through. Take Time Out When a conflict flares up it can be incredibly hard to stop talking and separate off. The temptation is…
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